My new motto

While surfing the net recently, I came across a quote that I really like. I can't remember the exact wording, but it went something like this:

"The people that don't mind risking looking a little silly, have more fun in life".

I'd have to say I agree with that. In the past I've missed out on fun things because I was afraid of what I might look like. This example sticks out in my mind...

One 4th of July, I went to the beach with a group of friends. Someone brought along a smashball set and my friends were taking turns playing down near the waters edge. But I was too embarrassed to play in front of all the people on the beach, so they were laughing and having fun, but I missed out.

There have been many times through the years when something like this has happened. I chose to say no so I wouldn't chance looking silly or stupid. And instead, missed out on a fun or exciting opportunity. The reality is, who cares? Who is really looking or paying attention anyway? If someone laughs or criticizes, it probably means they are jealous that they aren't brave enough, right?

So from now on when the fear of possibly looking silly or stupid causes me to hesitate, I'm going to remember my new motto.

Got it!

Look what came in the mail today!
I'm excited to begin reading.

I won!

Last week I entered a contest at Relz Reviewz . She was giving away 4 books and I was one of the winners! The book is called Sweet Waters by author Julie Carobini. I've read 2 other books by Julie and had the privilege of meeting her at a book signing here in San Diego. Just in time... this will be the perfect summer read.

Julie Carobini and I
Feb. 2008

Thank you Rel for choosing me!

I'm Baack

Vacation was fun filled and action packed.

Susie's husband took us to the lake near their house where I learned to drive their wave runner. Another day we braved the wild slides at the water park. Neither of us had done that in years and we were having a blast. A younger woman came over and commented that she had been watching us and she thought we were "maniacs" and that was awesome! That took us by surprise, but it made me wonder if she wished she was hanging out with us.

We also went running, baked cookies, and cooled off in Susie's pool. On the weekend we drove to the coast and spent the day at Avila Beach, and Susie did really well competing in the SLO Triathlon on Sunday.

Now I'm pooped out and ready to sleep in and adjust back to my slower lifestyle. HaHa! I'm so thankful that I had the chance to spend time with my good friend.

Time for vacation

My bags are packed and I'm flying out of town. Susie has invited me to come hang out with her for a few days just as I did last summer. On Sunday she'll be competing in the San Luis Obispo Triathlon again, and I'll be participating as a lap counter for her swimming event and volunteering for others as well.

Susie and I are on completely different schedules. She wakes up at the crack of dawn, bright-eyed and raring to take on the day. I wake up several hours later, cranky that it's morning already and in desperate need of coffee. By 9pm she's yawning and ready for bed and I'm wide awake with a couple hours of energy still left. She usually has every minute of every day jam packed full of adventurous activities, so my body will be adjusting to her schedule quickly whether I like it or not. It's extremely hot where she lives right now, and I'm thankful she has a swimming pool at her house which I'll be floating in each day.



Check back next week for a new and exciting post. Bye for now... Miss me!

Mrs. G.

As I was walking the dog through the neighborhood last night, we passed by the house of the late Mrs. G. She was quite a character and I chuckled as I recalled a funny habit she had. On occasion, she'd spot us working in the yard and scurry over to talk our ears off, letting us know all the latest in her life and any neighborhood news. Mrs. G. would segue from one subject to the other by saying, "so anyway, the thing is...". That way there was never a pause to let anyone else begin talking.

This little saying has become a joke between my husband and I. Whenever one of us catches ourselves incessantly rambling on to one another, we'll poke fun at ourselves by saying the famous Mrs. G. phrase, "so anyway, the thing is...". It cracks us up every time!

I began wondering if there is any quirky thing I say or do that people make fun of behind my back and will be remembered long after I'm dead and gone.

Something new

Something that I've wanted to do for some time now is write my testimony- what I believe and how I came to faith in Jesus Christ. I've told my story to many friends through the years, but I feel it's important for me to write it down and share it with the world. Or at least whomever happens to stumble upon my blog.

I have sort of a vanilla story. Not very exciting to most people, but it never fails to bring tears to my eyes reliving my initial experience of receiving Christ into my heart. My journey of faith is sometimes strong and confident, sometimes weak and full of doubts, but definitely still growing.

Sometimes it seems the more I study the Bible, the more questions I have. Some days my mind feels clouded and confused, and that frustrates me so much. I begin to feel angry that I can't get what I feel in my heart to make sense to me intellectually. I don't want to simply have blind faith. Other times, answers to questions become completely clear and make so much sense and I feel such a peace.

Anyway, I want to get my testimony written and share it, so I've started a new blog called, Raising A Hopeful Voice. That will be the only thing on it, just the one post. The title is from the lyrics of the song, Falling Slowly, by Glen Hansard. The song has nothing to do with this subject, but I do like the song and for some reason I really like those lyrics. I think they are quite fitting... I want to raise my voice to share my hope which is in Jesus Christ.

This might take me months to write, and I just might edit the story a hundred times, but I have such a strong desire to do this. I'm excited!

Day at the Museum

Yesterday my son and I spent the afternoon with family at The Justice Brothers Racing Museum. Since my dad was sick on Father's Day, we were finally able to get together.

Years ago, my dad was involved with midget auto racing and assisting in the pits for race car driver Byron Counts.

Along with the many cars, the museum also has all kinds of antique gasoline pumps, signs, an acrobatic biplane, and a large assortment of collectible racing treasures.

Dad knew the guy that used to own this silver car and the red one behind him.

He was just like a kid in a candy store being around these midget cars again!

This brought back memories from my childhood of when we used to eat at Bob's Big Boy restaurant.

Don't mess with me, I've got police protection.

We had the whole place to ourselves.

My sister and mom are on this bench that was made from the rear end of a car and one of its seats.

The museum not only has midget cars, but also sprint and stock cars, dragsters, motorcycles, and an assortment of vintage automobiles.

Here my son is standing in front of the car from the movie Spaceballs.

This motorized contraption is a stool on wheels!

I liked the paint job on this fancy race car.

Ed Justice Jr.

photo: justicebrothers.com

The Justice brothers are no longer living, but one of the sons, Ed Justice Jr., is the president and CEO of the company. When we drove into the parking lot he just happened to be walking from one building to the other and came over to greet us. He was incredibly nice and genuinely interested in hearing my dads stories of his past experience with midget auto racing.

He took my dad and son into his private office and opened up drawer after drawer filled with race programs and memorabilia from years ago, and also shared many of his own stories. Another employee named Martin took time talking with my dad as well, and ended up giving him a dvd on the history of the company.

We had such a fun day being all together and my dad could not have been more thrilled.

Life in Stages

It's interesting how I see my life sort of split up into different stages.

• First there was the stage from birth until age 18. Then I went to college for a very short while and floundered a few years until a friend talked me into going to banking school with her. From then on, I was focused on my career and meeting Mr. Right.

• A few years later, I moved to San Diego, met Mr. Right, got married, and was enjoying having a husband and being his wife. I decided to make a career change, but was still motivated to continue working hard to save for our dream house, which was eventually purchased.
  

• Next stage... our baby boy was born. My heart and soul went into being the best mom I knew how to be. It was a dream come true and I was loving every minute. I was incredibly blessed with a hard working, supportive husband, a beautiful, healthy son, two cats, and a house beside the sea.

• After 20 years at my last job, when our son was in elementary school, I decided it was time to retire so I could focus on being a full-time SAHM. We also decided to get a puppy 8 years ago, and she has brought much love to our small family.

• Sadly, a family member slowly but surely developed Alzheimer's disease, and even though she didn't live with us, I was one of her main caregivers. I grocery shopped for her, paid her bills, took her to doctor and dentist appointments and visited her daily for many years. Eventually she needed round-the-clock care and lived in a lovely care home for 5 years until she recently passed away.

All of a sudden I have found myself in a very strange stage of life:

I don't have a career, our son is raised and so my mother role has changed , my caregiver help is no longer needed, and my husband works out of town often. I've been praying for about 4 years or more that God would give me a passion for the next thing... a goal, a dream, something important to do. I'm not bored and I'm not looking for suggestions. I have many responsibilities here at home, and many fun interests and friends to keep busy and enjoy life with, but I have a very uncomfortable feeling deep inside. This uneasiness doesn't make me sad, mad, or depressed, it's just a nagging feeling that I should be doing something really important. I guess I've always had somewhat of an idea what my purpose was in each stage of life... until now. But I've decided to call this my "season of freedom".

Yesterday I read something very interesting on SCL where Jon talks about being on a desert road and maybe it's a gift that nothing is happening yet. When God doesn't answer our prayers about our dreams, goals, direction, etc, it's not that he's ignoring us or doesn't love us, but maybe God is protecting us from war. This was such an interesting and comforting concept. Jon's point may have had a slightly different meaning, but it spoke volumes to me. Not only could God be protecting me, but I also believe God could still be preparing me for what lies ahead in the next stage.

So for now, I'll just continue doing what I'm doing and wait and enjoy my season of freedom.

Bitten

It won't be a full moon until Tuesday, but it sure seemed like it was on Sunday afternoon. Crazy dogs were out!

Scout and I were over at Fiesta Island enjoying a beautiful summer day. I was running along the sand at the waters edge while Scout was having fun swimming and running in and out of the water.

At one point, this guy and his Siberian husky were coming from the opposite direction. The dog spotted Scout and started running full-speed towards her. I was concerned that Scout might get mad, but she didn't let it bother her so I kept running. All of a sudden the dog came at me from behind, jumped into the air, and clamped down on my right wrist with its teeth. That was quite a shock! The dogs owner was embarrassed and apologized. He asked if I was alright, and then explained how his dog likes to do that to all runners. (Um, well maybe it shouldn't be off-leash then). I told him I was okay and kept going. A few minutes later I looked down and there was blood running down my wrist. Shoot! The dog had punctured my skin in two spots, and one was bleeding.

It didn't really hurt, but of course my mind immediately wondered if the dog had all of its shots. I knew I'd run into them again making my way around the bay a second time. When I spotted them, I walked up and showed him my wrist and said I just wanted to let him know his dog did break the skin. The guy seemed genuinely concerned and assured me the dog had been vaccinated and showed me the rabies license tag. Even though the dog looked full grown, it was a 9 month old puppy.

We parted ways and I began running again after a safe distance. No more than 15 minutes later, a couple was walking towards us with 3 dogs. Their standard poodle came charging full-speed towards me! Even though it didn't touch me, I was a little jumpy because of what had just happened. Then later back at the car, a guy pulled up next to us and got out with his pit bull. Thankfully that dog was on a leash since it lunged at us, barking ferociously! Yikes, what the heck was going on with all the weirdo dogs? Maybe the fireworks still had them freaked out from the night before.

We've been going regularly to Fiesta Island for 8 years now, and I'm thankful nothing worse has ever happened. I realize when you go to a dog beach, dog park, or anywhere else where dogs are allowed off-leash, you are putting yourself and your dog at risk for dangerous or unpleasant things to happen. Several times in the past I've had rambunctious puppies with muddy paws jump up on me. A couple times small dogs have jumped up and scratched my legs. And yes I know... sometimes dogs will bite.

So far I haven't started foaming at the mouth. Looks like I just might be okay.

Pray for Kate

photo: promisetangemanblog.com

Kate McRae is the little blonde seated next to her mom. Doctors just recently discovered she has a brain tumor. Her parents are praying for a miracle of healing and asking others to pray along with them.

This story hit close to my heart. When my son was young, his best buddy, Shawn, was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. I felt it was important to join in to help spread the word about little Kate if it means even just one more person praying.

Please listen to this short video of her parents explaning the situation...



There have been changes since this video. To follow an accurate journal of events, please read here: caringbridge.org/visit/mcraekate/journal

photo: promisetangemanblog.com

Time for Fireworks!

Happy 4th of July!

By Your Side

This is the longest I've gone without posting since I went on vacation last. I've written about 6 different drafts throughout the week, but just couldn't get myself to publish them. I've been sad and a little depressed lately and decided they were just too much of a downer so I deleted them. I'm sad often, partly because of a unique, complicated situation in my life, but also some of it is probably hormonal, or lack thereof. Most of the time I try not to show it since that can get old real fast.

Sometimes I wish I had an anonymous blog so I could really pour my heart out and write just exactly what was on my mind. You know... vent and blow off steam, whine, cry and get angry about my heartbreak, unfairness, and pain. Lol! Gee, I'll bet you're so happy you stopped by today.

It's interesting how I can have so many things in my life to be thankful for, and I know that I'm incredibly blessed, but the things that cause pain become so intensified that they overshadow everything else. In my current Bible lesson it talks about thanking God for even the unpleasant situations in our lives. I don't remember ever doing that, probably because it's just not normal. But this morning I decided to give it a try. He knows the things that are causing my heart to break, and I believe He will answer my prayers eventually. The word I'm disliking the most right now is "longsuffering".

This song brings me comfort today...